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To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this in attempt to give insight
over the course of the past
six years of my life and how GHB and other factors have led me down a path
self destruction. I began using GHB, after my father passed away when I was
19. At the time I was attending community college and working as a Title
Searcher for an abstract company. After doing research on the Internet and
reading a book entitled “GHB: the natural mood enhancer” I was led to
believe that the product was 100% safe when used as directed. In addition to
this there also numerous health claims such as a better night sleep, a fat
burner, a social enhancer, it was a miracle drug in fighting depression, and
it also had a muscle building effect. These claims were supported by years
of research by doctors and scientist. They also claimed it was not
addicting; something I would find out later was far from the truth. At that
time GHB was legal and could be purchased over the Internet.
I continued to use GHB for 4 years until it was
made illegal, soon after a
market for GHB analogs became available at any health food store, sold as
Furanone, and it had the same effects. It was sold in attractive bottles and
was flavored. It was legal and not regulated by the FDA under a supplement
law that was passed in 1994. At this time I started buying cases at
wholesale and reselling them to supplement my income, I also was working as
a merchandiser for a clothing company and attended university full time on a
part academic scholarship. G was a part of my identity I never left home
without it I thought it was a miracle drug that helped me overcome my
introverted nature. It made into the person I wanted to be, outgoing, and
empathetic and there were no side effects, I was happy and healthy and in
the best shape of my life.
After I graduated in Dec of 1999, I attempted
to apply for various jobs at
Nordstrom, Macy’s, and Lord and Taylor to name a few. After doing background
check they found I had a record. This combined with having too much time on
my hands led my to increase my G intake to around the clock every 4 hours to
help me sleep and just to function. I was spending thousands of dollars on
cases of G, I was going through a bottle every 3 days at my worst. By March
of 2000 Furanone was taken off the shelf and I lost my source of income, and
worse I was unable to get more G for myself. It was then I began having
serious withdrawals. The withdrawals consisted of panic attacks, tremors,
and delirium, visual and tactile hallucinations; sever insomnia, social
anxiety disorder, and depression. I had to move home and seek medical
attention from a psychiatrist, which helped a little. I was then able to
work a few times a week doing landscaping for a friend, but I was still
unable to go out, and was confined to my home for 6 months. I attempted to
attend a computer school but I was unable to concentrate. And I had to drop
out after a month.
During that period I sought to find detox
facilities and doctors that were
familiar with treating GHB withdrawal. I contacted a number of facilities
across the state, all of which denied me, citing that they unfamiliar with
my condition or that the withdrawal is life threatening and violent. I found
one behavioral health center that would take me, and I was treated like just
another junkie, they did not realize that I had no idea what I had gotten
myself into. There was no evidence provided at the time that G was as
addicting as Heroin and Cocaine, after all it was legal and sold at health
food stores. I had no health insurance and no money to pay the outrageous
fees at these private centers. I became even more depressed and went
back
on G when I could find it, hoping that something else will come along that
might help me get off.
In July I came across a message
board on the Internet that dealt with GHB
addiction and withdrawal. It was there I was referred to a facility in NYC.
I went in for one day it cost me $2000 and they gave me the same medication
as my other doctors. The withdrawal lasts for up to 2 weeks followed up by
months of depression. I realized I could not afford it and would be better
off as an out- patient. I then found a doctor in Philadelphia who was
familiar with G withdrawal and had a more aggressive approach to my problem,
and he agreed for me to do it at home. This was successful, however for the
month of August I stayed confined to my home afraid to face society once
again.
By September I reentered Computer School, I
continued on through November
until I had a relapse. It was at this point my life took a turn for the
worst, for the next 5 months I went on a binge of mixing G, cocaine,
Ecstasy, and sleeping pills. I needed the drugs just to function, and to
sleep. Now I’m not only addicted to G but the sleeping medication that was
prescribed to me as well.
I felt I needed to make up for all the time I
spent at home and to forget
the fact that I could not find a steady career. I was surrounded by friends
who were drug dealers and users since I got out of high school and I never
realized what I was doing was wrong. I have been easily influenced all my
life and I never took the time to make my own decisions. No one ever sat me
aside to intervene on my behalf and when family members tried I just turned
a cold shoulder. I had no conscience. Using GHB made me forget about all my
problems, it led me to make poor decisions without ever realizing the
consequences of my actions. There were times I fell as sleep and almost
burned my house down with a cigarette or cooking on the stove, or crashed my
car. I am lucky to still be alive.
I realize now that it would have to come to an
end some how whether I
killed myself or I entered into a long-term rehab to have a complete
transformation. Unfortunately it took me getting arrested to come to terms
with all my problems and bring even more shame to my family and myself.
However I know this is probably the best thing that could of happened, the
end of the chapter of my life of drugs and the beginning of a productive,
and positive long life. I want to become a different person...
a much better person. Someone who doesn’t need drugs or alcohol to be
social, have fun and enjoy life. I was not meant to go down this path, I
came from a loving, Christian family and there is something else out there
that I was meant to do with my life.
Name Withheld
City, State: Savannah
GA
Date: February 06, 2001
Comments
When I first found your site a
year ago I was disgusted with it because I felt it was propaganda from the FDA
and drug companies designed to scare people away from their competition. I had
been aware of GHB for 5 years at the time and had believed that GHB was super
safe and had no lethal dose or bad side effects. I wanted to believe
that there was a holy grail of medicine. [italics added]
I had begun taking GHB/GBL in the
summer of '99 on and off. I bought some GBL online and started taking it daily
as a dietary supplement in Oct. ' 99. Over the next few months, I saw nothing
but good effects from the substance and I would periodically stop taking it
for a few days or a few weeks, just to test myself and make absolutely sure
that it was not addictive. I had no side effects at all. Great sleep, great
sex, lost weight, improved energy.
Then, all of a sudden, after a
2-week break at the end of Jan. 2000, and 4 days of resumed use, I skipped a
day and had a very weird reaction 48 hours later. I returned from stagehand
work at a concert and felt unusually energetic and manic for 3 AM. Over the
next few hours my heart rate elevated to 150 and stayed there for 2 hours,
then slowly returned to normal. I got very scared. My mind was racing and my
vision seemed hyper intense. Colors were vibrant and sexual fantasies seemed
super real. I was scared until I started to hallucinate slightly, and then I
thought "Oh, someone, somehow dosed me with a little LSD at the rock
concert" I felt irritated but relieved that I knew what was going on and
that I just had to ride it out. I fell asleep at 9AM.
I had thought about GHB/GBL being
the culprit but talked myself out of it because my past experience was nothing
like this at all. This event was at the beginning of Feb. 2000. I continued to
take GHB/GBL with no further side effects for another 4 months. In retrospect
I see that it began to affect me but I didn't notice it. I could cry on cue
and get very emotional about things. I would feel manic and invincible, having
bursts of creativity, and then I would feel down. Also, my libido shut down
and I had no interest in girls or dating. This I believe is because of the
high level of serotonin that GHB causes, much like Prozac.
In mid May, friend saw me
preparing my dose of 3/4 teaspoons of GBL to go to sleep, along with another
3/4 teaspoons to take when I awoke after 3.5-4 hours to put me back under til
daybreak. He said "Wo man! what are you doing? Your taking a [----load]
of that stuff. That's way more than me!" This friend had been taking it
along with me for the same time period and I had verbally confirmed we were
taking the same dosage and the same frequency, just to be safe. Apparently he
did not know the difference between 1/8 tsp and 1/4 tsp and had been
inaccurate about his frequency. Right then, I decided to take a break, and I
had the scariest, most eye-opening 72 hours of 26 years. The reaction was the
same as the one in February, but longer and stronger. I could not sleep at all
nor could I shut up. My friends took it in shifts keeping me company and
watching me, at my request. I was horrified that GHB/GBL could do this to me. I
thought that maybe I had been sold heroin or something else, because GHB could
not do this, right? Wrong! GHB affects the dopaminergic systems in the
brain and science does not understand fully what it does or how it does
it. The fact that it is already in your body and in many foods, does
not make taking huge concentrations advisable. God made our bodies quite well
and it is a bad idea to mess with them too much.
Since then, I have experimented
with doses of 1/8 tsp and less, only to find that I have been permanently
sensitized to GHB, and experience the same kind of reaction, only less severe,
when I have tested myself. I hope my story forewarns others about the
unpredictability of GHB and GBL. If you're young, you don't need to boost your
growth hormone level - and don't think that this stuff is harmless.
I am now disgusted with the
rabidly pro-GHB sites that recklessly promote the lie that GHB and GBL are
only good for you and in fact advisable to take. I am
done with the stuff for good, having educated myself in the school of hard
knocks. I don't know what kind of long-term health risks I may have acquired,
but I will have to face them as they arise. Get the word out- CR
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