A year gone by…in memory
of our son
On October 20, 2006, our youngest son, Christian Lee Koepke, died
of an alcohol/drug overdose that was later ruled an accident by the
Cook County Coroner’s office. While we do not really know too much
in the way of facts surrounding Christian’s death, we know that
his death had nothing to do with any alcohol that he may have had that
night and everything to do with a bottle of water that he drank containing
the homemade street drug GHB.
We have been told that Christian died as a result of drinking water laced
with GHB that he received from a man at a well known bar on Franklin Street
in downtown Chicago where Christian and his roommate stopped for a drink.
Christian was a music student at Columbia College in Chicago, where he shared
a downtown apartment with another college student. Christian’s roommate
was the last person to see him alive and the only information we have of
the events surrounding our son’s death is that which his roommate has
provided.
Of the little that we do know, we have been told that in the early hours
of October 20, our son was given a water bottle laced with GHB from a regular,
well known, customer at this bar with the name of "J" or "Jay." Christian
had only first met Jay the morning that he died. Christian was a gifted musician
and an aspiring music producer. We have been told that Christian believed
Jay to have connections in the music industry. After talking to Jay for a
while at this bar, Christian and his roommate agreed to go with Jay and some
of Jay’s friends (one being a young female with dirty blond hair) to
an after-party at Jay’s house in the hopes of furthering our son’s
aspiring career. So thereafter, they all got into Jay’s vehicle where
Jay proceeded to pass around a bottle of water containing homemade GHB. We
have been told that Christian took a small drink and then a larger drink
of this water and then passed out while Jay continued to drive everyone to
his house in Park Ridge. We were told that Jay was well aware of the amount
of GHB water that our son had drank, but continued to drive to his house
instead of taking our son to a hospital for medical attention. After arriving
at his house, Jay and his friends carried our son’s almost lifeless
body into Jay’s house where he died on a couch as they all partied
around him. Christian’s roommate said that he had repeatedly asked
Jay and Jay’s friends to help our son by calling 911. They refused
his request each time and said that Christian would be fine. However, after
an hour had passed, and everyone realized that Christian’s pulse had
become extremely faint, Jay and his friends still refused to call 911 for
fear that they would get in trouble over the drugs in Jay’s house.
After pleading with Jay and his friends for help in getting our son the medical
treatment that he desperately needed, our son’s roommate was able to
persuade Jay to drive Christian to a hospital in Park Ridge, but only after
Jay first considered dumping our son behind a Park Ridge restaurant. We were
told Christian was dropped off dead.
Christian was a full-time student at Columbia College in Chicago, due to
graduate in May 2007. Christian did graduate in May 2007, with honors. His
father and I walked down the aisle and accepted his diploma on his behalf.
When his name was called, my son received two standing ovations, while a
dozen ceiling monitors displayed one of the last pictures ever taken of him.
It was a beautiful gift given to us by Columbia College and one that Christian
worked so very hard to achieve.
Wondering what really happened to Christian that night will haunt us the
rest of our lives. Our hearts are broken. The truth cannot hurt us any more
than Christian's death. Unfortunately, the story we were given is all we
have to go on, all we think about, every single second of every day. Do we
believe the story of how our son died? No, not at all. Will we keep on trying
to find the truth? Absolutely. As parents, unconditional love is a choice
we make and choose to share with our children. We had a very open relationship
with our son. He knew he could tell us anything and because of that, we believe
he told us everything. Of course, naturally as parents, some of the discussions
that Christian shared with us we did not always want to know, but he knew
if any two people would accept him, it was us.
Christian was such a truly special young man. He was so accepting of others.
He was the type of person who stopped to speak with homeless persons, offer
them cigarettes and share a conversation. He took a great interest in people
and it made no difference to him who you were, what you looked like, or where
you came from. He always had time to talk to you. Christian loved Chicago
and would have made a difference in the music industry, both in and for Chicago.
He had what it took; he had a beautiful gift of writing, recording, playing,
and teaching others who would come to him for help or support. Because of
Christian’s love for music, it is hard for me as his mom to listen
to music anymore. It’s easier to leave the radio off. At times, I try
to listen to the music that he created, but hearing his voice, picturing
him at his microphone, playing his guitar, hurts.
Christian touched a lot of people in many different ways. Not a day would
pass without him having some sort of theoretic debate with his friends or
family over ideas or issues that they shared. The five-year-old girl that
he recorded so she could sing a song to her daddy to tell him how much she
loved him. His teachers who feared calling on him because they worried that
they would not have the answers to his many questions. The friends that knew
him and knew that he would always be there for them. His only brother who
loved him and will forever miss him. The same brother and sister-in-law who
made him so proud and thankful for the gift of being an uncle to their son
and daughter. The aunts, uncles and grandparents for whom he was never afraid
to hug or share conversations. The parents whose lives were filled with promise
and purpose and were always amazed by the things he said and did at times.
Not a day would go by without our son calling us just to find out how we
were doing, to let us know what his plans were for the day or week, run an
idea by us, play a new piece of music he wrote and recorded, or just to tell
us he loved us. He had a smile that lit up the room when he walked in. He
was a young man who challenged everyone to think outside the box. He was
a young man who would have made a difference in this world. A young man who
is missed more and more as each day passes. For all these reasons we will
continue to pray for the truth, and hope our prayers will be answered.
If, in sharing our story with other parents, we ask them to please
take the time from their busy schedules and really focus on what
their children are trying to tell them. If we all did this, we might
just have less crime, fewer deaths in and outside of Chicago and
one more son or daughter alive today. We were blessed with a rich,
open relationship with Christian centered around communication. He
shared everything with us – his successes, his struggles, his
heartaches and his dreams for the future. As a result, we are absolutely
certain that our son was a victim of the tragic circumstances that
took his life. Given what little we know of our son’s death
and how much we did know our son, we will not let his untimely death
go.
We want to encourage parents and young adults to be careful with who you
meet and trust while out in this world. We are encouraging anyone who has
lost a son or daughter as we have to speak out. Only we as parents can put
a stop to this crime and ensure that our loved ones’ stories are not
brushed aside and forgotten about.
We were told there were five or six people at Jay’s party who all
looked on as our son slowly died. Some day, one of those people will wake
up from yet another nightmare and realize they can no longer live with the
guilt of knowing they took part in letting a young man die; the truth of
that night can only be told to set them free. If, as the parents, I can only
hope that if they do come to you, you help them make the right decision in
telling the truth.
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